Angelina Jolie's Vanity Fair Cover

Vanity Fair's July '08 cover, featuring Angelina Jolie

Vanity Fair has a reputation for pushing the boundary between art and good taste, doesn't it? For the most part, I have sided with artistic expression. For example:

~the beautifully pregnant Demi Moore's 1991 cover ~ I always thought that she embodied so many beautiful sides of femininity in that picture: vulnerability, strength, bearer of life, fierce protector. Of course, I'm looking at that photo with today's sensitivities (read here: calloused can't-shock-me eyes).


~Madonna's Green Issue cover (May '08) ~ here I see the tongue-in-cheek portrayal of a dominatrix overpowering (or perhaps bearing the weight of?) the world, from someone well known to support environmental issues. I love this: the hidden messages that make it so much more than just a pretty picture.


~Miley Cyrus' June '08 spread ~ I am of two minds here. For one, she is a girl transitioning into womanhood, slipping out of her cocoon with a Lolita-esque depth in her eyes. But here is also my problem, that in her case she is also a teen role model whose squeaky-cleanness is supposed to be her appeal. This photo spread, while artfully beautiful, should have waited a few more years in my opinion.

July 2008 (pictured at top) features the beautiful Angelina Jolie, her story is subtitled 'Uncensored'. Surrounding her glorious cleavage and smoky, "come hither" gaze are other featured titles, each loaded with innuendo:

~Inventing the Internet: an Oral History
~Abigail Breslin Keeps her Shirt On!
~Man Crushes
~Has Bill Clinton Lost his Mojo?
~Smuggling Cuban Baseball Players
~Exclusive Excerpt from the new James Bond

I don't see a single title that isn't linked to sexuality in one way or another, so maybe they should have called this "The Sex Issue". Then, when you get to reading the article you quickly realize that it has nothing to do with sex (other than that she is beautiful and reveling in her pregnancy) and you have to wonder what the editors were trying to accomplish with the cover.

Should I, as a woman, be offended at the overtly sexualized pregnant Jolie as the ultimate evidence of conjugal bliss? Perhaps as a mother I ought to be peeved at yet another stereotype of perfect womanhood be paraded around for all the swollen-ankled, mood-swinging Mommies-in-waiting to aspire. Is this another blatant example of the sex sells mantra most marketing plebes can't escape? Or maybe it's just a pretty picture...

What do you think?

Mondaze Report: Crash, Boom, Bang

Another new week, and we're into May! Even the Canadians will be feeling some spring by now which should put everyone in a good mood. I spent this weekend mucking out some much neglected flower beds and afterward a good deal of time lying on the couch aching and whining. I guess the 6-month workout hiatus may not have been such a fab idea after all.

Well, a new day and a fresh bag of coffee beans is enough to get me in a better mood, and as I'm sitting here in my raggedy yoga pants and Molson Canadian T-shirt I'm feeling the tension lift. How 'bout you?

So, first on the news headlines is the horrible news about another natural disaster in a far off place. Death toll is coming in at this hour of at least 4,000 and likely to rise to 10,000. Seems to me we've been singing this song a lot lately: 2005's Hurricane Katrina (1,800+ deaths), the 2004 Indonesian tsunami (200,000+ deaths), the 2003 European heat wave (35,000 deaths), and on and on. But-- 'Climate Change' is a myth (propagated by evil hippie liberals whose anti-progress agenda will sink civilization into the worst recession known to mankind). Riiiiiight. My good mood is officially spoiled (but at least I got to rant about it). Kinda wishing right now that Al Gore was running for President.

Shifting gears, it seems the financial story du jour is that there will be no MicroHoo (merger of Microsoft and Yahoo). I saw this story on the weekend and some overeager financial journalist described stockholders as waiting 'with bated breath' for the Wall Street reaction (I can't find that link now, sorry. It was worth a few derisive snickers for sure). Sure enough, Yahoo's stock is floundering - so the commentators got it right, but what struck me as funny was the whole emotional response to this news. I had this mental picture of a bunch of nerdy-type day traders hunched over their laptops with their Vitamin Water and fingernails bitten down to the blood.

Quick disclaimer: I can scoff because (as a self-managed investor) I got spanked on the earnings announcements a coupla weeks back. Who's the fool now?

I hopped over to MSN's entertainment page for some salacious gossip and was rewarded with this acid-trippin' pic of Mary-Kate Olsen. Wow. I guess no words are necessary.

That's a wrap for this Monday, peeps. See ya on the other side.

Peeve of the Week: The publishing of this post was delayed significantly because of an ongoing glitch at RoadRunner. It's funny - we rarely have service disruptions during crashing banging storms, but on a sunny day (for that matter all weekend) we have had sporadic service at best. Also, we had cheaped out and went with Vonage (Buyer Beware, but that's another story) for our telephone service (VOIP), so with that down too I have been forced to rely on my cell phone. Sux to be me though, since we live a little ways out of town and I have crappy/nonexistant reception. Crappy RoadRunner, stupid Vonage, ghetto Virgin. I hate technology.

What's your Beef of the Day? Bitch it here.

Mondaze Report: Skin, Spit, & Fat

Have any of you tried the Dulce de Leche flavor from International Delight? I made a smaller batch o' bean this a.m. after reading MissChickie's coffee sob story, but after 2 small lip smackin' cups heavily doused with my my fave flave du jour, I might risk any gastrointestinal fallout in favor of one more sweet cuppa heaven. Somehow it makes Mondays just that much more worthwhile, dontcha think?

So, I'm reading how America's #1 sweetheart Miley Cyrus is falling from grace faster'n you can say "buzz cut". Guess what? She's super sorry that her half nudey pic for the upcoming Vanity Fair cover wasn't artistic like Leibowitz promised but instead might prompt tweenaged boys across the country to smuggle Mom's mag into their room for closer perusal. I'm thinking that if you are posing (or at least appear to be) naked, chances are your squeaky-clean image is going to take a beating, no matter how artsy you think it is. This coming on the heels of recent squawking over her PG-13 wardrobe malfunction. Surprised much? Ok, ok - to be fair, she's just a kid. Let's pass the smacks to the adults who are responsible for this mess, starting with the people close to her and finishing up with mag execs who really should know better.

In Toronto, public transit employees staged a strike late Friday night, only to be ordered back to work on Sunday. It seems that the demands of a zillion commuters trumps whatever TTC peons are feeling slighted about (or perhaps more accurately, union execs?). So now, having the pesky problem of commuter shutdown neatly swept aside, the TTC and government can now sit down with a negotiator and work out their problems. Except that the TTC has no bargaining power since The Man decided that striking action is verboten (is that democratic?). Not only this, but the TTC had to put out a public plea for passengers to take it easy on lowly drivers and ticket collectors. Apparently at least one Darwinian decided that hawking a loogie on one driver would be a great way to let off some steam. Give that loser a smack upside the head, or maybe since it's Monday and we're all feeling the drudges, a good swift kick in the ass.

From my favorite section at MSNBC.com (the weird news), this report about a disgruntled murder suspect who lost over 100 lbs on the jailhouse diet. Now weighing in at a mere 308 soaking wet, this featherweight is ticked about the 3,000 calorie menu he's forced to slug down his gullet. No one wants to exist on a dreary sandwich regimen, especially if you're only a suspect and not a convicted felon (I know I know - they have rights too), but I'm thinking that if this dude's acquitted, he just saved himself a bundle on Jenny Craig and should shut up and be grateful. However, he probably won't have a shot at Biggest Loser now. Wah wah wah.

'K, that's enough fun for this Monday, folks. Barrel through, it's only 3 weeks or so until the May long weekends start up.