Girl Talk - Why it Works?

There is a great discussion going on in our site forum* right now about the When, Where, and Why of having sex for the first time.

The first poster is contemplating if the time is right for her to "go all the way", and at the same time has concerns about protecting herself and sharing this moment with her boyfriend. Her comments have prompted many insightful responses from our members, including one who wistfully wishes she would have had this type of support back when she was facing a similar situation.

It struck me then that most of us probably do have quite a bit of support from family and friends, but hearing the tough truths from those closest to us - does it help?

Mom says: "Protect yourself! You don't want to end up pregnant at your age."

Grandma says: "In my day, if a gentleman wanted to call on me he had to ask my father first. Save those bedroom shenanigans for your wedding night, missie!"

BFF says: "Like, oh my Godddddd, he's kind of a tool."

Why is it that reaching out to a community of women you've never met can be in some ways more informative and comforting that trusting the opinions of your loved ones? Every comment in the thread echoed exactly what this young woman probably has already heard-- she probably did not get much information that she didn't already have.

Yet, sometimes hearing good sense from strangers can be more powerful than from someone you know is biased. Maybe it's exactly because they don't know the intimate details that their uniquely objective opinions strike a chord, or maybe it's because we feel we could freely disregard a stranger's advice and never have to deal with the aftermath of a hundred I-told-you-so's.

I have attended the last two ChickAdvisor ShopCrawls in Toronto, and in both cases ended up shopping with girls I had never met before that night. Strangely, I found myself putting greater stock in their fashion opinions than the few people also at the event who I know well. My Facebook account (though sadly neglected) is full of friends and friends of friends that I have only known a few months, but my emailing with family and former best friends has dwindled to a bare trickle.

Is it because I know what they will all say before they say it? Do I really think I'll get a fresh perspective from a stranger? I get into deep discussions with my seat mates on an airplane, talk politics with my hairdresser, and share Too Much Information with other mommies when discussing childbirth and other such (supposedly) private topics. In many cases, I would never dream of chatting about this with my family.

In the case of ChickChat, we can talk about everything under the sun because each of us has different experiences that offer perspective on any topic. We have a diverse ages, educations, relationship commitments, careers, and goals - and yet we usually come to a consensus. Who'd a thunk? Often, that consensus boils down to some good old common sense... the same 2 cents you probably already heard from your mom.

Thank you to all our ChickChat participants! We wouldn't be the same site without you.

To all of you who've never tried it, check it out*. You can always post anonymously and expect sincere answers.

*You must be a member and logged in to use our site forum. And behave yourself, or the site moderators will kick your @ss :D

Three Timely Tips

Though 2008 is still young, I've already learned a few valuable tidbits this year that have positively impacted my life.


Coffee can make you sick

This is tragic. I have long waxed poetic on my love of a good latte. I have searched earnestly for the best cafes in the city, even on vacation. I confess that I sometimes brew espresso at home just for the smell of it. And now it makes me sick. Sicker than the last time I complained about this. Like I lose weight in an unpleasant manner if I drink it, kind of sick. It can affect me up to 24 hours later. If I wanted to shed a few pounds this could be seen as somewhat of a bonus, but I don't.

The Skinny Bitches say, "Caffeine can cause headaches, digestive problems, irritation of the stomach and bladder, peptic ulcers, diarrhea, constipation, fatigue, anxiety and depression. It affects every organ system, from the nervous system to the skin." (Skinny Bitch, p.15)

Word.

My beloved lattes are officially out.

A Bikini wax need not be excruciating

For years I was so proud of myself for finding cheap bikini waxes. Sure the wax was about 10 degrees hotter than it should have been and yes, it hurt like a b&tch (esp with newbie waxers), but it was $11 baby! I tortured myself with these extremely painful sessions for years to save a few bucks. I didn't realize that the bulk of the pain lay with the esthetician's skills (or lack thereof).

Don't blame the bush. Blame the waxer. If she knows what she is doing the pain is minimal to none. Skip a few visits to Starbucks a month and spend the extra coin on an experienced waxer. Not only will your monthly brazillian be a breeze, you'll have less ingrowns to deal with after.

Tip: Toronto, Sarah at Queens Quay Hair Design & Esthetic is awesome. It is still reasonably priced, but she is a pro. I also highly recommend her for eyebrow threading.

Organic wine isn't that much more expensive

While I loved the idea of Organic wine I never bothered to look for it at the wine store because I figured it would be outrageously priced. California's Bonterra wines are reasonably priced and really decent. They use organic matter in the soil and rely on natural predators (read: chickens and birds) to keep vineyard pests at bay, in lieu of harmful pesticides. They also yank their weeds instead of spraying them with chemicals and toxins. Their 2006 Chardonnay retails for around $20 (CAD) and can typically be found in the vintages section of the wine store.

$20 isn't so bad for a healthier alternative to your favorite Chardonnay.

www.bonterra.com

Rent A Bag

How much would you spend to impress?

Luis Vuitton Manhattan PM, for rent: $225/month

A knock off LV bag sighting is as common (and tacky) as your coworkers extra long acrylic nails. Though this trend is thankfully on the wane in Toronto, it still seems many of us would rather shell out for a fake bag and have the illusion of wealth than buy a better quality one that doesn't announce its name brand when you enter the room.

Catching on to this trend are the bevy of new websites cropping up that allow you to rent the designer bag of your dreams by the week or month. For the cost of a set of full highlights, you can impress everyone around you for an entire month with the real deal. The days of fumbling through Q+A on the authenticity of your tote at every turn are over. Let them inspect the stitching and hardware with all the meticulousness of a CSI. Now you can proudly flash those luxury logos at your public without feeling like a fraud. You, your wallet, car keys and lipstick have never looked more important.

However, like Cinderella, when the clock strikes midnight after your month of material bliss, the bag disappears and with that, a sizable chunk of your visual net worth. You'll have to sign on for another month to get that back... but lucky for you, the fashionable bore quickly and will soon start carrying the latest one from Marc Jacobs. And pretty soon, so will you.

Rent a bag in Canada
www.stillchic.com

Rent a bag in USA
www.bagborroworsteal.com

Buy a quality bag that looks just like your favorite designer bag
www.baghaus.com

Buy an authentic designer bag online
www.eluxury.com

What kind of bag shopper are you? Convincing fake, real deal, bag renter or are you just not into the hype?

The 10 Worst Cars of 2007

© Pontiac

Thinking of buying a new car this year? You might want to consider this list before dropping the cash. Forbes.com has compiled a list of the 10 biggest losers for 2007: the most unreliable, fastest depreciating, least safe and most recalled. Buckle up!

The Car Why it's a loser

1. The Chrysler Sebring ~ for recalls and faulty parts.

2. Dodge Nitro ~ for worse than average reliability and recalls.

3. Jeep Liberty ~ for performing badly on crash tests - yikes!

4. Dodge Caliber R/T AWD ~ for much lower than average reliability ratings.

5. Dodge Magnum ~ for bad depreciation and unreliability.

6. Ford Crown Victoria ~ ancient mechanical platform. Who cares? Old person/cop car anyway...

7. Chevrolet Aveo ~ worse than average reliability, fuel consumption and generally marginal ratings.

8. Nissan Quest ~ for a "much worse than average" reliability and major safety recall.

9. Hyundai Entourage ~ again that whole "much worse than average" rating thingy...

10. Pontiac Grand Prix ~ the one decent looking car of the bunch. It's on the chopping block for marginal crash test safety ratings and terrible resale value.

Read the full article from Forbes

7 Old Wives Tales de-Bunked

Before you consider whipping out one of these in front of your friends you may want to do a little research according to an article on Yahoo.

"You know, we only use, like 10% of our brains..."

"Don't read in the dark. It'll ruin your eyesight."

"You should drink at least 8 glasses of water a day."


It turns out these and several other widely held beliefs may not actually be true. The following are things we've been told all our lives but may have very little validity to them if any:

1. We only use 10% of our brains

2. You should drink at least 8 glasses of water per day

3. Fingernails and hair grow after death

4. Shaved hair grows back faster coarser and darker

5. Reading in dim light ruins your eyesight

6. Eating Turkey makes you drowsy

7. Mobile phones are dangerous in hospitals

Want to know the truth? Read more...

Does Age Still Matter?

I have always been of the belief that it is never to a woman's benefit to reveal her true age. In business, either you are too young and you won't be taken seriously, or you are too old. There is also of course, the baby factor: When will she be going on maternity leave?? A former boss once asked me during the interview when I was planning on having children. I was 18.

Hollywood celebrities are famously "mum" on this matter for good reason. As Martha Plimpton once said, there are essentially two parts available to the female actress. "In film, it's either 'She's a young starlet' or 'She's an old-hag character actress.'" While there are a slew of aging male actors still raking in the dough well into their 70s and 80s, they make more money than female actresses of the same age and enjoy richer careers. Often they are paired with actresses half their age.

It's no wonder actresses feel the need to conceal their age. Last year, the internet was abuzz about a supposed 7 year gap between Beyonce's reported age of 25 and her real one of 32. I don't know or care what her real age is, but why was this a topic for discussion in the first place? Does anyone care how old Matt Damon is or Brad Pitt? Has the fact that Brad is obviously very comfortably in his 40s affected his ability to still be considered a sex symbol?

Personally I never own my true age because I think it is irrelevant. Some women prefer to tell their age with pride. I don't think there is any benefit to sharing your age. Until women are no longer judged based on their age and gender, I am what I appear.

Where do you stand on the age issue?

Shame on You, NYMag

LOL!

We've always been fans of Nymag.com until now. They've come out with a new show in their fashion look book section that is pretty much exactly the same as our show but the fashionistas are questionably dressed transvestites.

Forgive us, but who is this fashion advice supposed to be for exactly? Normally we'd say who cares? Fashion is fashion, but this... only Tootsie could appreciate.

Then again imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Wanna do Brunch?

Toronto and Ottawa members we are trying to do a little last minute holiday brunch if you're interested. We've been talking about it in the forums.

It's a last minute uber casual deal but here's what we are working on:

A brunch, some fab free products from Garnier and a chance to meet in person and discuss girls only topics that will make the boys blush.

Toronto Sat Dec 15 11am location (TBD)

Ottawa Sat Dec 22 11am location (TBD)

Cost: pay what you eat.

Wanna come? Email us or respond in the forums asap so we can ensure enough product and space for you!

Tact And The Unwanted Gift

Thanks, but... no thanks!

Let's be honest here. Every year some well intentioned soul buys something for you that you simply must return. In many cases, you should find a way to keep it and consider the spirit in which it was given to you. But sometimes the offending item simply must be returned or re-gifted. This is awkward and can hurt the giver's feelings so you have to be really careful how you go about this.

A friend recently confided that every year her Mother in Law buys the exact same shirt for all 5 of her daughters/daughter in laws in the same size, color and style. Unfortunately the women range in size from Small to XL. A medium waffle shirt does NOT fit all.

Should you find yourself in this predicament, carefully evaluate before you make your move. In most cases, an exchange is the least offensive providing you have a solid excuse like it didn't fit properly or you have an allergy to polyester/country music.

Really try to focus on the positive. If you find the item truly repulsive, find a way to say something genuinely nice about it. "I LOVE this colour!" "Wow, this is really nice quality!" "This will keep me so warm!" Then tactfully suggest you visit the store to see if they have that item in your size, wait for the boxing day sales to deplete their stock, and then go back armed with the receipt and a totally legit excuse to use it towards something you really like. Make sure to thank the original giver for the new gift.

This is not about lying, it is about considering the feelings of the person who took the time to hunt out and pay for or make something special for you. My mother is extremely careful to buy gifts she really thinks suit the recipient and spends a lot of time searching for that perfect item. I would never consider returning something from her unless it was the wrong size, in which case I would try to exchange it.

Whatever you're unwrapping this season, try to focus on the positive, remember the spirit in which the gift was given and above all, be gracious.

Just for fun, vote on our poll of who will be most likely to give you that tacky gift.

Ho! Ho! ... No?

Should we be offended by Santa's trademark chuckle?


Santas in Sydney, Australia have been instructed to change their ho ho ho's to "Ha ha ha" because the former is insulting to women. There were also concerns that it may "scare children" and teach them to disrespect women.

What do you guys think? Is this change justified or just plain silly?

Read more about this controversy.

What To Do About Global Warming?

A few people posted this on my facebook funwall. It is slow going at first but the argument here is really good. This is not a funny video, but it is a great discussion piece. What do you guys think?